Zen's Aviary...
Home of the Parrot-Loving, Slightly Neurotic,

Jewelry Designing, Enigmatic Pagan Chick!

a trip to the past

i was just reading the loverly smashthegas's diary and he was talking about a snooty bitch he works with.

what is it with snooty people these days? i manage an alumni board for my highschool and while it has been great fun getting acquainted with people after twenty + years or just meeting people i never knew in school. i went to a big high school, our graduating class had over 800 people in it so there was no way to know everyone in your class.

anyway, the board has been a lot of fun in many ways, but the glow has really worn off in some ways. i suppose it's just like high school. there's this small clique of people on the board who feel they are so far above us mere mortals.

they're mean and snooty and arrogant and just plain bitchy! many new members have been turned off and left shortly after joining. i just get so frustrated with the level of pure meanness some of these people stoop to!

i've tried to stay out of the arguments and piss matches as much as possible because i am not one of those people who seek out confrontations. but lately i'm fed up to here *raises hand to neck* and i feel like i need to do something.

it's like battling the bully in high school. only these bullies are primarily upper class women who have too much time and too much money are on their hands. they look down their reconstructured noses on everyone else.

today, i did lose my cool and got rather bitchy right back at them. called them on some of the things they have done. amazingly i was well supported by other members, but i can't help but feeling i stooped to their level.

it's all just so inane. i mean we're 40+ adults and we can't even get along on a frelling message board! i've not been as active on the board lately, but since i am the manager i do have certain responsibilities.

*sigh* i know in the scheme of things this just seems so shallow, but i feel so badly for some of the women who are getting constantly put down by this "clique". i wish i knew of a way to stop it.

change of subject:
hubby's in a pisser of a mood tonight. went into the kitchen and he was tearing up iguana lettce. he turned to me saying "don't you ever tear up lettuce in this house again, because everytime you do, you fuck it up".

i was caught of guard and asked him what he meant. he proceeded to tell me that the way i tore the leaves off was wrong and messy and he hated it. said from now on any lettuce tearing up in the house would be done by him.

i didn't feel like arguing, so i said fine. just came back to my little bird cave and started working on some jewelry. a half hour later he came in like nothing had ever happened, just as nice as ever and said he was taking the dogs for a walk.

i hate when he goes off on me like that. i know to him it doesn't really mean anything except he's annoyed with me at the moment. but for me, i hate it.

it makes me feel like a little kid again...when my drunken father would lash me with angry tirades. telling me that i couldn't do anything right, that i'd never amount to anything, that i was stupid. i would shrink inside myself and i do the same thing when hubby screams at me.

my father was a drunk. as i've stated before he and i have worked through those problems and i've forgiven him. i've been able to separate the alcohol from the man.

so why when my hubby lashes out at me am i suddenly transported to 8 years old again?

~zen 2 little birdies chirped

6:12 p.m. :: ::
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