Zen's Aviary...
Home of the Parrot-Loving, Slightly Neurotic,

Jewelry Designing, Enigmatic Pagan Chick!

monday monday

yesterday was a pretty typical sunday. the weather was absolutely beautiful so we did take a ride in the car with the topdown! wheee! makes me want the hubby to get his motorcycle out so we can go riding! we finally made it over to "the party source" because the hubby needed a new keg for his beer fridge and i needed a carton of smokes. they are so much cheaper cross the state border!

i've been reading a lot this weekend, we went back to the library on saturday and i read two books this weekend already. i'll post another book review entry soon.

we're having a very stormy spring and i love it! thunderstorms are wonderful! the energy, the thunder, the lightning.... the problem is my dogs are terrified of storms! they start shaking and whining and tarna(my 70 lb.dog) tries to curl up on my lap and bury her head under my shoulder. i don't mind her curling up next to me and i'll pet her and soothe her...but she is just too big to be a lapdog! and when she gets nervous she starts licking and licking and licking..and damn her breath stinks! but i try to be understanding because the poor girl is scared.

it's funny because my fids aren't afraid of the storms at all...the hubby says it's because they are tropical birds...but ummmm, they've lived in captivity all their lives, so maybe it's an instinctive thing?

so i did get some housework done this weekend, the hubby and i had planned on watching "flight plan" but he got busy playing games on the computer so we never did get around to it...hopefully next weekend! he's been SO busy at work right now that in the evenings he's been tired and hasn't wanted to watch a movie. poor guy.

i want to share something rather disconcerting that is going on with me. twenty years ago i was inpatient at a psych ward for my anorexia. while there i met a young man who i became good friends with. after our subsequent discharges we kept in touch briefly through letters (no internet then *gasp*). we lost touch and then about seven years later he ended up marrying an acquaintence of mine and we talked briefly. then i moved away and we lost touch again. then two weeks ago his wife (who i went to high school with) joined the high school message board that i manage. it's been 13 years i think since i'd talked to him. anyway we started chatting online after getting back in touch and he informed me that he had fallen in love with me years ago and it had taken him five years to get over me. i was uncomfortable with him telling me this but didn't know what to say!

so lately he and i have been talking daily thru instant messaging. we're both not working right now for medical reasons so we have a lot of time on our hands. he is now admitting to me that his marriage is in trouble and he still has deep feelings for me. i'm like uh...hmmmm...."i am really happily married, and while i am happy to renew our friendship...etc."

he said he was fine with that, he understood that my hubby came first. but lately he's been , trying to find the right word here, kind of needy about talking to me all the time! he gets upset if i have to leave the conversation to go do things and keeps asking "when will you be back". yesterday i spend a good bit of the day with they hubby and not online...and (i need a nickname for him) im'ed me dozens of times trying to get me to answer.

i finally did talk to him last night. usually while IM'ing with someone i have other windows open and i'm doing other things while we are talking so i might not answer immediately (is this bad internet IM etiquette?)...and if i don't answer right away, he keeps asking "are you there, are you there".
then last night as i was getting off line he keeps asking what time i will be on in the morning. i told him sometime after 8. when i did get online about 8:30 i already had several IM's waiting on me. i know he's just lonely and all, but he seems to have this idea that he still loves me and i find that uncomfortable. i care about him as a friend but i worry that he could get "stalkerish".

i'm probably being paranoid. he's a really sweet guy! i'm just one of those people that doesn't like super needy friends. it makes me feel uncomfortable if people are clingy. i'm too independent.

so am i being paranoid? how do i handle this person? and i need a nickname for him...any ideas my darling readers???

~zen 0 little birdies chirped

11:28 a.m. :: ::
fly back :: fly forward