Zen's Aviary...
Home of the Parrot-Loving, Slightly Neurotic,

Jewelry Designing, Enigmatic Pagan Chick!

half price PEEPS!

this is from LA, a woman whose opinion i value highly: Ugh. How creepy. His 'love' for you is NOT your responsibility. Nor is his lonelienss. If his marriage is so rocky why isn't he investing time and energy into strengthening it and working things out with his wife? Why hound you all night and day and pour his passion into his communications with you? If it were me I wouldn't be contemplating clever nicknames for him, I'd be telling him to bugger off and to go work on his real life relationship instead of building stalkerish air castles and a 'romance' with someone who is neither free nor interested. You asked, I told you what I thought. Not pulling punches, ~LA

reading what LA wrote really helped put things in perspective for me regarding this person. it isn't my responsibility to fix his marriage or to be his surrogate wife. by him spilling his guts to me all the time i am not giving him or his wife a chance to fix their problems. i guess i was thinking as a friend i should be available to him. and if that is all he wanted, friendship i don't think it would be a problem...but things got even weirder today. he started calling me endearments and telling me how deep his feelings are for me....helloooo dude, we haven't spoken in 13 years! then he started telling me how great he was in bed and all his wife did was lie there. and proceeded to give me detailed information on the size of his penis! OMG, i was freaked out! i told him i had to leave and get some housework done. he started grilling me on when i was going to be back online. i told him i didn't know. an hour later he starts IM'ing me....he posted "WHERE ARE YOU?" several times, in all caps like that. i never did go back and talk to him because it's all just feeling too strange. i've always had lots of male friends, but this isn't friendship, this is just creepy. LA, you are so right, i need to tell him in no uncertain terms to "bugger off"....part of me just wants to change my IM name so he can't get hold of me...but i need to do the grown up thing and tell him up front that i'm not comfortable with the things he's been telling me and he needs to put that energy into his marriage not me.

i told the hubby all about it and he agrees with me that this person is just too intense and over the top. i AM very happily married...we have our problems like all marriages do. he can be selfish and isolating and quick tempered and he's the first to admit it. but i can be whiny and lazy and too demanding! we all have our faults, but we do love each other and i cannot imagine having a life without the hubby in it. i know that no matter what "he has my back" and would do anything for me. we had a couple of really tough years and somehow our marriage survived and i am so thankful i stuck it out.

i have finally learned to stand up for myself and that was hard at first for the hubby to handle. he wasn't used to me not giving in to whatever he wanted even if it wasn't what i wanted. but in the end i think he respects me for being and adult woman and not being the little girl he could boss around. sometimes he gets frustrated because i finally have grown a spine, but then when we talk about it later he admits that he prefers being married to a woman, not a child.

i guess my only real problem with the hubby is he can be so oblivious at times to anyone's needs but his own. he can be so self involved and has told me before that he probably should never have married. but i know he loves me and we've worked really hard at making this work for us. i've learned to be much more independent and developed my own hobbies and interests. this has been awesome for me....i discovered my love of beads and stones and designing jewelry...i actually got to know ME as a person and not just someone's wife, mother, daughter.

so what did i do today? the usual animal care - i am a zookeeper as well as jewelry designer *smile*...then had to go pick up a script at the pharmacy and pick up eggs at the grocery. and happy happy joy joy, PEEPS were on sale half price, yes i said HALF PRICE at the pharmacy! i did my own little happy dance right there in the candy aisle. so i brought home all my little boxes of peeps and laid them out to dry. now just to be patient enough to wait for them to dry! i know i'll have to eat some right away tho! hurray for peeps. (yes, why yes i am easily pleased!)

got home from the grocery and pharmacy and cooked dinner...yes, you heard that right, i cooked dinner. put some rice in the rice cooker, steamed up some veggies (broccoli, peppers, water chestnuts) the sliced and sauteed chicken breast strips in a bit of olive oil and some soy. voila, my own version of chicken stir fry, and healthy too. the hubby was SO happy to come home to a home cooked meal.

i can definitely tell a difference in my activity level since the pain docs put me on morphine again. i can actually function so much better and am able to get some things done around here. i know the hubby is ecstatic about that! i just can't wait til the surgery when hopefully the spinal cord stimulator will take over the majority of my pain control. *crosses fingers* the doc told me last friday that my surgery should be may 1st. did i tell you that already? but i won't believe it until they are wheeling me in that operating room!

here's to home cooked meals and PEEPS!!!


0 little birdies chirped

8:46 p.m. :: ::
fly back :: fly forward