barry manilow, teen angst and solitude

wednesday, hump day. although it doesn't really mean so much now to me since i am not working. however, it is the day my friend guy comes over to watch the two "american idols" with me. it's just a fun relaxing evening where we watch the two-hour show and the results show...giggling and snarking and just being kids! hubby hates AI so it's nice to have a friend that will come watch it with me! and *geek alert* i have such a thing still for barry manilow! gosh, the memories of teen angst and barry manilow albums on the turntable! i can close my eyes and hear his songs, picture my green and pink room, and feel my unrequited love for d.f. how madly in love with him i was! i remember writing in my journal how i would marry him if i could...i was 13 at them! *smile* but the love i felt then was true and sweet...and thankfully a year later was returned to me!

i talked to my surgeon's office today and they said that what is taking so long is "politics" between the hospital and the insurance company! grrrr...my whole life is on hold while their beauraucratic bs continues. i'm just ready to get this done and move forwards. i do want to go back to work...kind of! and the longer i'm off work the more difficult it will be for me to go back. i get so emeshed in my solitude...staying home with my animals and my jewelry. it's gets harder and harder to leave the house for anything. i find myself always making excuses for why i can't leave, or putting things off so i don't have to leave. i could be such a great hermit! but i sometimes get more depressed when i'm solitary too long, so that is definitely something to be concerned with. it's a delicate balance. and i'm such an ALL person that moderation doesn't have much place in my life!

~zen 0 little birdies chirped