hope springs a turtle...
what's been going on in zen's life the past six weeks....
i went back to work for four weeks working in the HR department of local cable company. boring!! except for reading the oft times hilarious write-ups that employees received! the worst part of the job was four to six hours of each day spent in the file room. standing and bending...two of the things that this f'ed up body of mine just don't do! i'd come home from work and collapse on the couch til time to get up the next day and do it all over again. really messed up my back and hips even more. have to say i was relieved when that assignment ended!
this past friday i had a caudal epidural steroid procedure done. in this they stick big ol' needles in my tailbone and inject anesthetic and two kinds of steroids! it was rather embarrassing...lying on the OR table with my ass in the air...the anesthesia tech washing my bum down with betadine, making sure to get all the way in the nooks and crannies! egads~
then the bee-stings, that which the docs call the local anesthetic shots. with each shot my butt cheeks would jump! all aquiver with pain. again, embarrassing! finally i hear this loud crunching thwack! i say "what the hell was that???" and the doc replied it was the needle entering my tailbone. OWWWWWW! but i was brave and didn't cry!
they told me i'd feel worse for three or four days, sore and unable to bend twist or move much...then the steroids were supposed to kick in. i'm still waiting for that to happen! yoohoo! steroids! it's zen calling and i'm ready for you to start working now!!!
and for the worst news of this spring. my darling dog, tarna has lymphoma.
i was devastated. terrified. fiercely protective of my poor pup. she started chemotherapy on this past thursday and is already doing better! she'll have chemo treatments weekly for the next six weeks and then will have them monthly for three months after which time we hope she will be in remission! already the lymph glands are receeding and she seems to have more energy! i'm scared to feel hopeful, but what else do i have? i have to do what's best for my pup, and not be selfish. as long as she is feeling good and has a good quality of life we will continue the treatments. if the treatment ends up being worse than the disease and she's miserable, i'll reconsider at that point. i just love that dog!
things with the hubby are okay. i just want more from him and i don't know that he has more to give. it's frustrating and sad. i don't know what to do.
