and silence reigns...

we're at a quiet time right now. neither one of us really talking to each other except for questions about the animals or the mail or our e-bay store. he informed me yesterday he is closing down our ebay store and re-opening it with our friend guinness without my things in it. *sigh*

i called my mom and she is sending me some money to open up my own checking account til i can get a job. i applied for 11 more jobs yesterday but still haven't heard from anyone!! getting worried here.

i keep thinking how will we divide everything up? he did tell me he would leave me the refrigerator, dishwasher and microwave...but he wanted the new (well newish) car. he also wants his computer system, his two new flat screen monitors, printer etc. i'm thinking of asking for one of the flat screens and my laptop.

damn this just sucks. why can't he just accept me for ME? why is he constantly trying to change me and who is he trying to change me into? a skinny healthy woman is what he wants. and i'm getting healthier. much! i'm ready to go back to work full time. meds are now doing great and my back is almost healed! still a small open incision that hasn't yet fully healed but the doc said that is perfectly normal.

so i'm job hunting now but no bites yet. just the two i am hoping could work into something. one of them i REALLY want! and the other i would take if nothing else worked out. the man did tell me that he'd put me on his health insurance until i could get it.

~zen (still flitting around in no direction) 9 little birdies chirped