Zen's Aviary...
Home of the Parrot-Loving, Slightly Neurotic,

Jewelry Designing, Enigmatic Pagan Chick!

Part II


Part II

The next day I am teased un-mercilessly by my roommate Julia. Not only a virgin but a high school virgin Zen, she laughs. I laugh too, but inside still feel a little weird about the whole thing. I mean I am only 21 but those three years seem like a huge difference at that age! Sean (my teenage no longer virgin date) calls me the very next day and asks me if he can see me that weekend. He says he has crew practice in the morning but heíd like to come over that afternoon if itís okay. I say sure, why not.

He arrives in time to meet Julia, who does her best not to tease too much, but Sean seems to take it all in stride. We decide to order in food for dinner after he sees the state of my empty refrigerator. We eat and then Julia arrives back with a couple of friends so we all sit around and light up a joint while listening to music. Sean seems to be uncomfortable around my steadily getting drunker and higher friends and pulls me aside to say he would like to spend time alone with me that night. Iím thinking, yeah, he just wants laid again! I tell him not tonight because my friends are here. Heís not thrilled with my answer so says he needs to go and will call me later.

I wasnít too concerned with him leaving because I had more important things on my mine, those being another beer and another joint.

That week I had yet another appointment with my gynecologist to discuss my worsening abdominal pain and what options were available to me. I sat on the end of the exam table, wearing a flimsy hospital gown with a wrinkled paper sheet covering my legs. Dr. G explained to me that my abdominal pain was caused by endometriosis and adhesions from the abdominal surgery I had six months ago. When they plicated my vena cava and did the ovarian vein ligation they went in through my abdomen leaving me with a scar that went from my belly button around to my back and an abdomen full of adhesions.

The problem according to Dr. G. was that since I was such a high risk patient he didnít believe that any of the doctors in our small town would be willing to operate on me to remove the adhesions and endometriosis. He also informed me that even if they were able to remove them, they would most assuredly grow back. I sighed and asked what my next steps were and again requested what my odds were of ever having children. He gave me one of those pitiful looks that you absolutely hate having directed at you and informed me that my chances of having children were about nil even with infertility intervention. He then recommended that I go to the closest University Hospital to have a diagnostic laparoscopy to see what my treatment options were. He said he would have his scheduler set up an appointment at University Hospital and someone would get back to me with my appointment date.

I went home depressed with what I had found out from Dr. G. Fortunately for me my roommate Julia was there with a therapeutic joint and bottle of vodka. We sat outside on our little balcony and I explained to her what Dr. G. had said. She gave me a hug and told me that science was doing miraculous things these days and not to give up hope. I gave her a wan smile and said my hope was as gone as were my chances of having children, not realizing that my greatest hopes and dreams were already implanting into my supposedly infertile womb.

Sean called again and asked to see me that weekend. I didnít really want to see him again but for some reason I agreed. I told him to meet me at my apartment that coming Saturday. The next morning I received a call from Dr. Gís office informing me that I had an appointment the following week at University Hospital for a diagnostic laparoscopy. I called my Mom and asked her if she could take me up there and she said yes. My poor Mom had been through so much with me. Perhaps eventually I will tell you all the story of the beginning of my anorexia and what I and therefore my Mom had gone through since I was 14 when the anorexia began. But Iím not really ready to talk about my eating disorder yet; hence all references to my anorexia are not mentioned in this telling, even though I was still having problems.

Sean came over that weekend and I really was not in the mood for him. I just wanted to get drunk and stoned with Julia and maybe a couple of close friends. As soon as Sean got there he immediately tried to find a way to get me alone. I mean what should I have expected! I give the poor guy his first taste of sex then the next two times I see him, thereís an apartment full of drunk, high people around and Iím more interested in partying than sex! I should have known better than to have de-flowered a virgin I begin thinking! Finally Julia and the others take off, leaving Sean and I alone for the first time since that first night.

As soon as theyíre gone we end up in bed again of course. Iím not really feeling like it and my mouthís all dry from the pot and Iíd rather have a pound bag of M & Mís and a bag of chips but I try to get interested. Iím finally starting to get into and Iím on top just riding away when I hear a giggle. I stop and stare at Sean who is lying there with his head back and his eyes closed. Yep, Iíve transported the boy I think oh so modestly. Then I hear it again and turn around and see Julia standing in the doorway with a big grin on her face. She says Rideím Cowboy and whirls a pretend lasso in her hands! I immediately crack up and Sean turns to Julia and turns a bright crimson. He evidently is not as amused by her cowboy imitation! I dissolve in laughter on Seanís chest and eventually he relaxes too and Julia leaves the room so we can get ourselves together. And yes in case you were wondering, we did finish first!

I told Sean that I was going to University Hospital the following week and what I was having done. I also told him that while I thought he was a sweet boy that I thought we shouldnít see each other anymore when I got back. I was almost 22 years old and he still hadnít graduated high school. So we parted on okay terms and over the next couple of days I got ready for my admission to University Hospital, thinking that I would never see Sean again. I had absolutely no clue that a part of Sean was left with me and we would be connected forever by this one thing.

To be continued in Part IIIÖ
3 little birdies chirped

10:01 p.m. :: ::
fly back :: fly forward