Zen's Aviary...
Home of the Parrot-Loving, Slightly Neurotic,

Jewelry Designing, Enigmatic Pagan Chick!

just checking in...

hello my poppets!

i'm still recovering and haven't been online much but wanted to pop in and check in on everyone as well as post an update. i'm healing up...still have the picc line and am doing the daily antibiotics. the home health care nurse taught me to do my own so that's easier.

the bandages still have to be unpacked and repacked daily which is extremely painful but hopefully the way they are doing this will allow healing to take place with no more infection. they taught my hubby to do the dressing changes so luckily that means the home health nurse only has to come down once a week to change the picc line bandages.

still have almost three weeks left of the IV's and then they will close up the incisions. they are very large and will not close up on their own...they'll have to be stitched close and one of them may actually need skin grafts they said. ugh.

this whole thing has been a nightmare. i'll never have another device implanted in this body! guess i'll still with the meds. the docs have reassured me that i will not get addicted to the morphine...that there is a difference between being opiate dependent to be able to function and being addicted and taking them to get high, which i don't.

so, haven't been up to much, other than napping every day, watching movies, reading. am making bi-weekly trips to the library. i'll have to do a movie and book review entry soon!

the worst part other than the pain is just being a sick person. it seems like it's been SO long since i could do things...things that i always took for granted! riding my bike, going for hikes...i don't feel like my hubby even looks at me like a woman anymore. i don't know the last time he even held me or kissed me. i've become someone he takes care of. i hate it.

i'm so lonely. friends seem to go away when you can't do much. my family all lives hours away. and my hubby spends all his time in his computer room. i feel like this infirm old woman. i just want to get healthy again and live a normal life.

okay end of whining blathering rant now. next week i plan on getting my jewelry table back out and begin creating again...i know that will help me so much. i need to create again! i feel so much more alive then. and not nearly so lonely when i have my lovely beads and stones!

my daughter 'em' is doing wonderful at her summer job at the department store and is loving her internship. she so enjoys working with the kids and has even been going to court. she talks about after she graduates from college next june, taking a year off before grad school and working at the domestic violence center. i think that'd be great. i'm so proud of her! and missing her so much this summer!

the zoo is all well and good. doggies are happy and healthy and having birthdays next month! taz will be twelve and tee will be ten. fids are all bouncy and chirpy and feeling fine! they love having mommy home and are spending a lot of time with me. they definitely help ease the loneliness!

well i am off to peruse some other blogs and catch up on all my dear diaryland friends. talk to ya soon!

~zen 3 little birdies chirped

4:55 p.m. :: ::
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