Zen's Aviary...
Home of the Parrot-Loving, Slightly Neurotic,

Jewelry Designing, Enigmatic Pagan Chick!

finally a update!

2006-06-18
i'm sorry i've been so scarce with the entries but my life consists soley of pain, meds, smoke and pain. one of my incisions is very infected. causing much pain. i shifted awkwardly thursday and felt one of my leads just pull and the stim went out on one side of my body. it was awful.

so now am spending much time lying flat on couch hoping it will finally start healing. ugh. doing anything hurts, moving hurts, breathing literally hurts.

i may have to call doc...i did have a script of cipro from two months ago that i never took so am taking them. it should knock the infection out soon.

i go back to doc on july 5th to decide what the next step will be since it's obvious this surgery made things worse not better.

i feel so badly for my hubby...dealing with all of this. he so hoped this surgery would "fix" me and life could eventually get back to normal.

altho i have to say, me lying on the couch in pain is more the norm these days. sad i know.

okay enough, gawd i sound like a whiny brat. what else is going on?

jewelry is going well...at least i can still work on that while incapaciated. thank the goddess for that! finished all but one special order i have out there. am working on that currently as well as some new pieces for basic inventory.

animals are all well and happy. hubby is well and as happy as can be expected when wife's surgery was again a nightmare and instead of being up and about she is on couch in extreme pain, crying lots of day.

called my dad to tell him happy father's day. i feel so much more tender toward him these days. like i am becoming more parental. the things that happened in our past...his alcoholism and his physical abuse...i see them now as part of his illness and depression and i feel more sorrow and love for him than any anger.

i love him. i realize that now and it's quite calming. to have a good relationship with one's father is healthy...and we do get along well now. in fact if i call and mom's working we generally have a good conversation. am i finally growing up? *smile*

my mom is doing well. my daughter is doing well and enjoying her internship. she worked at the crisis center with kids having supervised visitation. i'm hoping this will show her how lucky she is that her father and i's divorce was so amicable.

we used the same attorney and got a dissolution. it was cheap and quick and no fighting. we wanted to make things as smooth as possible for 'em'.

in fact, 'em's' father and his new wife would stay with us when they came here to visit her. i thought it would help with hotel fees. we got along well.

now that 'em' is all grown up (19) he and i probably won't have much contact w/each other. only at future big events. now weird huh? he and i have nothing else connecting us really...until someday maybe grandkids arrive!!! lol

so those are the reason's for my absence and here's hoping i start finally healing and feel like more regular updates.

~zen 3 little birdies chirped

7:43 p.m. :: ::
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