Zen's Aviary...
Home of the Parrot-Loving, Slightly Neurotic,

Jewelry Designing, Enigmatic Pagan Chick!


i find that guilt is the most useless and heaviest emotion to carry around. it's like a yoke around my life. and the things i feel guilty about most people would never understand. i try to explain it to the hubby or my mom and they just don't get it. i myself don't get it. why do i do this to myself and how do i stop? i'll give you a couple of examples of things that i feel guilty about.

1) my lovely daughter em, got me this awesome bird feeder for christmas (it's what i asked for) and it's hanging near my front porch balcony and i love to watch the birds eat and play around it. i was having to fill it a couple of times a day so decided to buy another even bigger feeder so i didn't have to fill it so often. well, the birds seem to like the bigger one better so always empty it first. and everytime i think about the birds liking the one i bought better than the one em picked out i feel HORRIBLY GUILTY! why? it just makes me feel so sad. i don't understand it myself.

2) every year for christmas my brothers get me a gift certificate to pier one imports. i love this store that i usually can't afford to shop in. this past christmas was like the fourth year in a row they've bought this for me because they know i love this store. the problem is that i've already bought the things i like that are in the price range of the gift card so couldn't find anything else there i wanted. i told my mom and asked if she thought my brother's would mind if i exchanged it for an old navy gift card becaues i love their clothes! my mom said, of course they wouldn't mind, they'd much rather you have a gift card from where YOU want to shop. so i asked them to exchange it and they were more than happy to do so. but every time i think about it, i feel SO GUILTY! why? i wouldn't mind at all if someone exchanged a gift card i got them for another gift card! in fact, i'd be happier if they told me so i could exchange it. but to this day, six months later it still bothers me that i did this. what's wrong with me that i let guilt eat at me and weigh me down.

~zen...the guilty bird. 0 little birdies chirped

2:15 p.m. :: ::
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