Firing, Weight, Bulimia
It's the first time I have ever been fired, and although I knew it was coming it was still a bit of a shock. I tried to act like it was no big deal, but it left me with thoughts racing through my head. I just keep thinking "what happened"? I knew I was being let go soon...my boss had already told me I had missed too much work for medical reasons and doctor's appointments. But she had said I could stay until my upcoming surgery...then bam, last night for some reason she changed her mind and fired me. Maybe I'll never know why. Guess I just need to shake it off and move on. I did call and apply for unemployment today so hopefully that will come through and tide me over until I can job hunt after my surgery. I'm getting so frustrating waiting on the doctor to call saying my surgery is scheduled. I so want to get it over with!
Went to the doctor yesterday and she raised my dosage of the Effexor. I am now on the maximum dose of it. Let's hope this works or its off to the psychiatrist to see what else to try. Weight is dropping oh so slowly!! I am at 123.5 right now. That's about 20 pounds lost and I am pretty much at my "normal" weight right now. But normal has never been right for me. I can't believe two years ago I was at 95 pounds! How low do I go this time? I want a weight that I can maintain and still be healthy enough to function! I'm working out and restricting right now. Rarely ever purging...thank the goddess! The bulimia seems to be getting more under control and the exercising and restricting become stronger.
I'm still awash in the depression.
More later.
